My entire life I had a plan for everything. From the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed I had an agenda … a detailed agenda at that. Wake up, work out, go to school, go to dance, work, sleep for 4 hours and start everything over again the next day. I even planned in little 15 minute naps and rarely had time for real food and screw having any sort of alone time … there was just no way that was even possible.
Needless to say that lifestyle began to put mad strain on my soul but a strain I didn’t realize until now. Until I did a complete 180 and changed everything about my life. Literally everything. Until I changed my lifestyle for the much much better.
For the past 2 months I have completely downsized my life. I have purged every unnecessary item and also every unneseccary person in my life. I have gone against the grain and chose to live a life most could never even fathom living. I moved into a 60 square foot home on wheels that I call my newest best friend Billie.
Truth is in the last 2 months the universe has not always been on my side. The thing is the universe also never gives us things that we can’t handle so I know as the madness never seems to stop either does my smiling.
Starting in July I officially moved out of my apartment and into my van. I was so damn excited that I truly felt unstoppable. I lived in Vegas so moving into the van in July meant moving into a a tin can essentially in 110 degree weather … with no ac … no easy access to a shower … oh and this was the start to living amish because I had to send my batteries back because they were faulty. Many people didn’t understand how or why I would do this and to be honest when I wasn’t in the van I felt slightly depressed or had a lot of anxiety and those three weeks living in Vegas I was the most productive I had been in a long time because I would go to work then go to Starbucks to work on my own life and then just sleep for a few hours drenched in my own sweat.
Finally it was time to leave Vegas and start the journey my soul had been waiting for. Traveling, living and working on the road full time. This is when the change really started. The change of going for planning every minute to every day to not planning a dang thing. Basically I wake up everyday and decide in the moment what I am going to do and where I am going to do it. This is the freedom that could not have come faster.
I left Vegas and went straight to Joshua Tree National Park where I got to work with my friend Ashly and her company Splice Clothing to work on a video and photo shoot. It was a blast because I whole heartedly believe in her mission and because I got to work alongside one of my good friends Stefan and some new friends I made along the way. From Joshua Tree I head to the beach for a couple of days. The coast was calling my name and I enjoyed the heck out of it but was soon leaving for Europe AND Africa. This was a trip to freaking remember. I went to Spain, Portugal and Morocco with one of my good good friends and traveling partner and a new friend she had introduced me to (we actually met at the airport on the way to Spain).
When I got back to the states I felt like this was the true beginning to my new life and I was so ready to start driving up the coast. Going into this journey everyone I had talked to said that I would change … I knew I would change but I didn’t know how fast it would happen.
The only plan I started to have was to not have a plan at all. I quickly realized that anytime I added or took away from my already very tentative plan something would need to change again. Basically now I wake up everyday and ask myself “what do you want to do today?” This is so crazy to me and many times it’s also totally stressed me out.
I started up the coast in Big Sur where I had zero service and it was freaking fantastic. But I quickly realized I was moving way to fast and needed to slow down. It’s hard to fin this balance of wanting to see everything but also wanting to see everything AND enjoy it. I went from Big Sur to Avenue of the Giants to Jedidiah State Park to San Fran to the Oregon Coast and now I have been in the Portland Oregon area for about 2 weeks.
When I started to build out my van it had all the stops. This was going to become my full-time home which meant it had to have full time accommodations in it. Electricity, a fridge, plugs, a bed, a table, running water and a toilet. It started this way but as I said earlier I had to live Amish for a bit. This lasted about 7 weeks … again not the plan but I quickly learned how to deal with it. I had to be smart about my time and efficient with how I used my electronics. This meant work on my computer instead of watch stranger things. Cooking became interesting and boring fast. because the only thing I could eat was dry food. Lastly other things on my car started acting up because of batteries in the back were trying to use energy from the front.
As if living Amish wasn’t enough I then got sand fleas in the van. I woke up in San Fran covered in spots … itchy spots. I woke up the next day with those spots doubling. I can deal with random stuff happening to the van but when bugs are eating you while you’re sleeping … EVERYWHERE on your body you start to complain and freak out just a little bit. After about 3 nights I stopped getting new bites but the bites itched more than ever, they started to scab and I have a fear of clusters so looking at my body literally made my skin crawl.
Since this epidemic things have gotten so much better. I now have electricity thanks to some amazing friends who helped me in a major time of need. My bites are also healed even though I now have many scars to remind myself of the disgusting trauma. I have made so many new friends and shit you guys I have had some deep rooted thoughts and feelings. Things and mindsets are changing daily.
With all the plans not going as planning I am truly happier than ever. I am finally in a place where I am trying to figure out new habits, start new hobbies, fix some of my “flaws” and truly have my eyes locked into the world.