I am 26 years old. Clearly at this point in my life, I truly am an adult by society, but when the adulting hits hard it really smacks us square in the face. Many people think adulting is a 9-5 job, bills on bills, marriage, having your shit together and a family of your own. Sure, it’s some of those things. Maybe for you or someone you know it’s all of those things but maybe its none of them.
I have lived on my own for 7 years now. This has made me feel like an “adult” for awhile and I am damn proud of that to be honest. I’ve done the whole paying my own bills and having life happen but the rest of those stereotypes of being an adult aren’t in my radar at the moment. The marriage, the 9-5 the having my shit together …. yeah not exactly those.
I think the big thing though is everyone thinks adulting is buying your own underwear and socks (like who wants to do that). It’s getting excited about getting dishware for Christmas and a Costco gift card for your birthday. It’s going to bed by 9 and never going out with your friends. It’s being uncool and laughing at dad jokes.
This is what people don’t tell you about adulting …
No one actually knows what they are doing. It’s the truth. When you’re young you think “adults” are doing what they are going to be doing for the rest of their life. You think they are happy doing what they are doing. You think that you have to follow the rules to do what they are doing in order to be happy. Truth is, everything is constantly changing. Everyone is constantly pivoting and asking themselves questions about what’s next and if they really want to be doing what they are doing. My advice — go with the flow and follow you mind, heart or gut, whichever is strongest.
Everyone is going through shit. Literally everyone is going through something. Big or small. Life doesn’t distance themselves from anyone … ever.
It’s fun. Like reaaaally fun. Being an adult is being independent. It’s doing what you want. when you want. You don’t have to ask permission and the only one who burdens any sort of consequences is you.
It doesn’t get easier. Again, because of that everyone is going through shit thing it makes it really hard for things to get easier. The thing is you become more prepared. You learn how to be resilient and cope better.
People are still immature. It doesn’t matter if your in high school or your an adult because people in their 20’s, 30’s and beyond still can act like they are in high school. My advice — only keep the people around you that build you up. If people make you cringe when you are around them …. don’t be around them. This doesn't mean that they are bad people it just means that they aren’t good for you.
You’re always looking for something. Whether it’s your keys because you start to forget everything when you get older or the next person to fall in love with. We are never content. If you’re not looking for a new job, you’re looking for you next relationship. It’s what we do and it’s really hard for us to sit still.
It’s never too late (even when you think it is). If you want to go to school, go. If you want to quit your job quit. If you want to pivot, then pivot. We get so comfortable in what we are doing even when we hate it but it’s because we are constantly telling ourselves that it’s too late for us because the clocks ticking.
You still call your mom for advice. No matter how old you are moms always make it better. To this day I still send my mom pictures of outfits if I am going to something important (and she lives 2300 miles away). I still call her when I don’t know what to do in relationships or with jobs. Moms rock, keep her and her advice close.
You’re definitely still cool. Adulting is full of surprises. Buckle up because it is truly the best days of your life (I think? I’m only 26). More to come in my thirties …