There are 7.53 billion people in the world. Get that … that’s nuts. That’s 7.53 billion people that you could have the opportunity to connect with on some level. Maybe that level is a friendship, an intimate relationship, a business deal, eye contact, a quiet hello or a brush of the shoulders as you walk by each other. The coolest thing about that many people living in the world is that the possibilities are endless. I bet at first it’s hard to imagine that you could have 7.53 billion things in common with people not to mention complete strangers … but I am absolutely positive you do. That you have something in common with every single person in the world. Babies, senior citizens, people of different genders, religions, ethnicities, and everything. So why do we limit ourselves? Why are we scared to branch out to others. Why do we think we have to fit into a certain mold of friends, or family, or social groups?
You know when someone says :
“Wow he is so your type.”
“She’s totally not what you normally go for”
“That’s not your demographic though?”
“Those aren’t the people I thought you would hangout with”
“That’s definitely not someone I thought you would go into business with.”
“You guys would be uhhhh-mayyyy-zing together!”
“You don’t even know them …”
The first thing wrong with ALL these statements is that everyone else thinks they know what you should or shouldn’t have in your life. Why is that? That everyone else wants to chime in and tell you what they think when you didn’t even ask (unsolicited advice is probably my biggest pet peeve -- it’s advice that isn’t helpful or wanted or needed).
The second thing wrong with this is is that we think we have to fit into a certain “type” or niche in order to be successful in relationships and careers and life in general. That only one thing works and stick to it if you’re happy with it or not.
Lame and lamer. I don’t work like this and either should you. The best connections are made by accident. They are made by having no expectations. They are made by doing things that aren’t your norm and expanding into uncomfortable situations.
For those of you that are new at joining my world. I am a writer and a speaker. I have had countless conversations with other people in this business (or others for that matter) asking me what my “niche” was or who is your “perfect avatar.” I always wanted to respond with “everyone” but felt like that was a cliché statement and that I was being judged when I said it because “you can’t speak to everybody …”
I always felt kind of discouraged after these types of interactions because I didn’t want to speak to just one demographic. I also don’t think there is such thing as a “perfect avatar” because perfect doesn’t exist in this world anyway. On top of it all, I truly felt that I did (and still do) want to speak to everyone and I didn’t want to limit myself. I didn’t want to limit myself to only speak to dancers because I am a dancer. To only speak to women because I am a woman. To only speak to athletes because I am an athlete. To only speak to high school students because I am a young millennial. I only speaking to grieving people because I have had to grieve too. That’s just not my jam. Never was and never will be.
The thing is when I talk to males I am challenged. When I talk to a group of soccer players or basketball players I am challenged. When I talk to moms I am challenged. When I talk to demographics I don’t find myself in I get the opportunity to educate myself and challenge myself. It’s an opportunity to sharpen my skills and learn more human connection.
What makes people tick and what makes them feel good. What makes people excited and what really pisses them off. I think a lot of people want to be in a niche because they are afraid to not be an expert at something. They are afraid to show signs of weakness. They are just afraid.
In my field though I don’t think there is a better way to connect with people than to show them we do have weaknesses, we do have flaws and we are in fact human. But the greatest thing about connecting with ALL demographics is that we are still ALL connected. I promise you that and would literally put my life on it to prove to you that it is true.
To everyone who has said I need a niche, my niche is human connection. To everyone who said I need to narrow in on one demographic, I have narrowed it down to humans. All types of humans which means all types of connections.
You guys, my biggest goal in life is to conquer the world. To make it a better place for you, for me, for everyone. Do you think I could do this by talking to only one demographic? Nope. Nada. Definitely not. Therefore I go back to my guns, I go back to what my gut says and that is most definitely to speak to everyone that I can. To anyone that will listen. To the humans that will move with me.
My why is humans. It’s people, it’s connection. I do what I do to create lightbulb moments as I like to call them because I love watching complete strangers turn into friends, sometimes even best friends. I live for the magical moments that are created by love and kindness and storytelling of people giving themselves to one another through self expression. Through stories of adversity and risk taking and wisdom and some of the happiest days of their lives as well as some of the worst. The memories and pain of heartbreak and the memories and excitement of falling in love.
That is why all people are my kind of people. All 7.53 billion people in this world are my kind of people. That is why my demographic can’t be put into a box and checked off. That is why some people may say I don’t have a niche but that is the exact I say I am going to be successful in conquering the world — because I am not doing what everyone else is doing in order to try and be successful. I am doing me whole heartedly and without apologizing for having too big of dreams.
If people give you that unsolicited advice I was talking about early take it with a grain of salt. Listen but remember you don’t have to act upon it. Do whatever your heart, gut or mind wants you to do. Whatever is strongest. Here’s some unsolicted advice for you though … but remember what I said you don’t have to act upon it but I think it’s good advice (don’t we all think our advice is good) … don’t apologize for having dreams that other people don’t understand and don’t apologize for following those dreams of yours … Always remember that their are people like me out that will have your back regardless. Regardless of what I think you should do or not do. You are my kind of people. Remember that.