2018, I am gratefully saying goodbye … I am grateful because the year is over (because life) but also grateful for what this year has taught me (because life). The highs, the lows and all the in betweens. There was been many of all of these moments.
2019, I am ready for ya. Like so ready, like ready or not, here I come type of ready. I am ready for an excuse to hit the restart button. Yes, sometimes we do just need a little excuse. I am ready to put some things in the past and look deeper into my future. Yes, I plan on living in the moment but it’s time to focus on what I want to evolve to. I am ready to take what I have learned this year and apply it to life. Yes, application of lessons rather than pity-partying. I am ready to adventure the world and change it as I am doing it. Yes, that means taking all sorts of wrong turns and getting lost just for the hell of it.
Although I am ready for something new, I am grateful for that I learned. I learned … or relearned …
All the times are good times. The good, the bad and the ugly. The times that I couldn’t hold myself together — whether that had been from laughing too hard, being so scared I peed my pants. Yes this actually happened this year, some of these haunted houses are no joke you guys. Being so sad I cried in public or so happy I danced it out. All the times are the best of times because they are moments in time that we can’t re do, that we can’t get back, that no one else can replicate. Embrace the suck if it gets to that, and love the bliss when it’s in your lap.
Love without hesitation. This means not playing games with your heart or your mind. It means telling people how you feel (whoa talk about scary). It means not caring what others think, and maybe even what you think. It’s saying yes to the butterflies, yes to the scariest, yes to that mushy oooey gooey pretend it’s not happening feeling, even if it’s short-lived (mine are typically short-lived).
Don’t believe everything you read … or hear. Unless it’s on Google or Facebook or TMZ of course (kiddin). People aren’t always who you think they are. Sometimes they disappoint, sometimes they let you down. We live in a world with cyber bullying and constant gossip. A world filled with “talkers.” The things I have heard or seen people say about me proves this statement true. The things I have heard or seen people say about others proves this true.
Human connection is where it’s at. Even when things are awkward and weird and uncomfortable. I’ve said it time and time again but we all have stories that we are writing every single day. Some of the pages of my story overlap with a complete stranger and the unknown bond we build is immeasurable. Tell your story, you’re never know who’s listening, who you can help or who will join your army.
Nothing is predictable. Like nothing what so ever. Although I already knew this, I have been tested in this department A LOT this year. The amount of changed plans has been unmeasurable. So ready to go with the flow. Be ready to change plans.
It’s okay to be alone and it’s even more okay to want to be alone. Whether that’s relationship wise or just happens to be on a Friday night. Sometimes I am a huge home body or get the most satisfaction when I am by myself reading a book. Sometimes the thought of being in a relationship terrifies me because it means I have to trust someone or that I might get my heartbroken so if I stay by myself I don’t have to worry about those things. Maybe the real reasons are just because it’s okay to want to be alone in a society that feels like we always need someone or something to make us happy. I make my own self happy sometimes damn it.
Self-love is hard. Like reaaaaally hard, but worth the challenge. It’s really easy to tell someone to love who they are and the skin they are in. It’s another thing to be someone who doesn’t want to be who they are or in the skin they are in. It’s practice and a ton of work. Work I never understood until this year where I truly had trouble loving me for me, as is.
Money does not buy happiness, but it does relieve some stress. I made my first big girl purchase this year and let me tell ya it was expensive. With that said, this was the first time I had to really be smart about my money. I have always been a saver and have had a huge (for my age) savings beneath my belt and right now I can’t save a damn penny and no matter how much I work I just keep spending it seems. Although I’m not happier with more money I sure do have a lot anxiety when it comes to purchases of any sorts, even things I need.
Go outside. Take a walk, go for a run, sit in the backyard. When you need a breather, actually breathe. If and when I am overwhelmed I can not just sit and continue whatever it is I am doing. I can’t concentrate on anything. My mind races and wonders. I get a little shaky and my stomach gets irritated. The relief I get from just changing my environment and getting fresh air changes everything.
Stand up for yourself. Stand up for your personal mission as a human being. For what you believe in. For what is on your mind and in your heart. Do not be afraid of confrontation. Do not be afraid to tell your peace. Do not be afraid to walk away. For me, this is all really scary. It’s something I hated doing and still hate doing but I am realizing how worth it, it is.