I can guarantee you that no matter what happens to you, good or bad, someone will say “everything happens for a reason” at some point, well ... at many points in your life. It seems to be something that just rolls off tongue. Whether something bad or good has happened to you, you can count on being told “it happened for a reason.” Typically, we tend to agree with these “optimistic” people when something great happens to us. Something that we worked our asses off for, or even something happily unexpected. When the little accomplishments and big miracles give us instant gratification, we like to think “everything happens for a reason and this reason is a good one.”
I got an A in my class… it happened for a reason.
I survived a car accident… it happened for a reason.
I won the lottery… it happened for a reason.
My dad died… whomp, whomp, whomp. There’s absolutely no way anyone can give me a reason for that. A reason “it happened for a reason…” Don’t even bother because I won’t believe you. Don’t even bother because the reason doesn’t exist.
We tend to shut ourselves off when something doesn’t go as planned. We panic. Sometimes we even self-destruct. What if I could tell you that things do happen for a reason? That for a majority of these happenings you won’t have a definite answer to the madness, but if you look, you can find clues. I’m basing this on my own personal experience and the “signs” I have been given, so take this for what it’s worth. I’m here, just trying to give you hope, not to solve any Nancy Drew mysteries.
For the longest time I was sure there couldn’t possibly be a reason that my dad died. He was young. Brave. Inspiring. Fearless and motivating. I questioned his death for a long time. In fact, I still question to this day. This is a feeling that will never quite disintegrate. I in fact know I’ll never find a concrete answer to that oh-so-big question.
The thing about death is both simple and hard. There isn’t always someone to blame; but even if there is, trust me, you’ll still question it. However, many times, such as in my case, death is some freak accident, on some freak night, that changes lives forever.
As that one moment in my life changed everything, I began to think differently. I started thinking outside of the box. I started looking at life in detail. I started trying to find that “reason” as to why anything and everything happened in my life – and the lives of others.
Quite frankly, it started making me feel a little crazy.
One of many things I have noticed is that we are fine agreeing with people that things happen for a reason when good are things happening. You know, those blissful, undenyingly outstanding butterfly moments. But, when tables are turned and bad things happen, then heaven forbid, we are the first ones to disagree that this shit happened for a reason.
How could it?
Why could it?
Who would do such a thing to me?
Guilty. My white flag is up and I surrender. I disagreed. I became small and I flat out asked “Why did this happen to me?” And all those other why, who, what, where and how questions.
When things seem impossible, it’s important to remember that things do happen for an un-definite reason. You might as well remove the word impossible from your vocal dictionary because I don’t believe in that word. It would be very rare form that I would agree with the term. I am not sure if God is the reason, or science, or even pure luck – or un-luck, if you believe in that sort of thing. It’s unfortunate to know that we need these events to happen in order to maintain grateful and learn overall perspective, but it’s the hardships we go through as people that bring out the most growth in a person.
I challenge you to look at your own hardships as a way to learn life lessons. In moments of sacrifice, ask yourself what you have learned, what you can learn and how far you have come or will go. Sure, life would be easier if these things didn’t happen, but we also wouldn’t learn a damn thing. We wouldn’t grow as people. Honestly, life would be boring if someone didn’t shake it up with the bull shit that we call reality. Trust in the process. Know that the process can be beautiful, if you just embrace it. Struggle creates warriors – they always come out on top. From the top, you can point your middle fingers straight up and tell the world “I’m ready. Up for the challenge. You ain’t ruining anyone’s life today. Watch and learn, brothers and sisters.”
A little self-talk doesn’t hurt anyone.