Chapter 1

Here is a taste of my project, my book. Be intrigued.  The why.  The what.  The how.  

Why the Glazer Rule Book?

This book is dedicated to everyone and anyone who has or will lose someone near and dear to them.  The truth to that statement is slightly unbearable.  Life is about living until the day that you can’t live any longer and for those of us still grateful enough to keep breathing, we learn to grieve.  We learn to prosper.  We learn to stand up on our own feet and maneuver our way through the game of life.  Losing someone is like losing a puzzle piece in a puzzle with 500 pieces.  It’s missing something that will make the way you look at yourself and the way others look at you quite different.  It’s like walking on glass because at any given time you’ll feel the same pain you felt the moment you heard the news.  This book is to show people they are not alone. 

Why the Glazer Rule Book?  This is quite a big question with a variety of different answers.  Ask me any day of the week and you would probably receive a new answer every time.  This book started out as a very small idea that in the matter of hours and literally one day turned into something much bigger, something much better. 

It was another random day, a day that I needed a little guidance, a bit of reassurance, and overall perspective.  The best place I can go, and the best person I can talk to in order to receive all of this was ET and his office.  So that is exactly where I went.  I marched myself into his office, sat down, and asked for help and asked for his words of wisdom. 

Having your dad who happens to be one of your best friends pass away when you are 21 years old, living 2300 miles away from home, while in college has not been a walk in the park.  People tell you it gets easier.  It doesn’t.  They tell you, you won’t think about it everyday.  You do.  Basically people tell you things to try and make you feel better when the worst thing that ever could have happened to you, happened.  Do I blame them? No.  It is scary enough to deal with death let alone to have people tell you the truth about death and the after math of losing someone so close to you.  Who knows though, maybe they are right?  I’ve been dealing with this for close to a year and a half now, which seems like the longest amount of time that has slipped by in the snap of my fingers.  Yet, god given, I have 20, 40, 60 more years of life to experience and soar through without my dad. 

Everything about that to me seems awful.  I had a hard enough time this past year not having my dad to call about petty girl drama, help with my school work, old relationships ending, new relationships blossoming, living arrangements, injuries, shattered cell phones, broken down cars, and academic dishonesty meetings.  What about dealing with college graduation, finding my first “big girl” job, getting engaged, married, having kids, and any other life accomplishments.  Who do I call when my next car breaks down, when I need to put a bid on my first home, and to figure out my own life insurance plans?  The answer to that is simple.  Anyone but my dad.  Anyone but the person I would call in a heart beat, the person I would call first.

What people forget to tell you when someone dies is this:  You change.  You become a brand new person.  Some things that change are for the better and some for the worse.  You grow.  You start to take every breath and cherish it.  You wake up every morning and physically wear that day out.  You do anything and everything you can to live for that person because they couldn’t.  Now, if only it was that simple.  If you could feel that high everyday for the rest of your life.  The sad truth is you don’t.  You get tired.  You get depressed.  You start to wake up and not want to get out of bed.  You start to eat less or in other cases eat more.  You don’t leave the house unless you have to and the only thing you “wear out” is the same old t-shirt you have been wearing for the past few days.  That is what people don’t tell you when someone close to you dies.  They leave out the gruesome details of not being able to sleep, having bruised and swollen eyes from crying so much and looking at yourself in the mirror like a limb is missing. 

The thing about death is, everyone deals with it differently.  Everyone grieves in a variety of different ways and absolutely no one feels what you are feeling.  Everyone has a unique story and for that everyone is allowed to feel how they want and need to feel.  Death has no rules and no limits.  Death kills anyone and everyone.  Death is quite frankly the damn most depressing thing anyone could possibly think about and deal with.  However, it is something we all have to find away to understand in our own minds. 

Good things and bad things happen to everyone at different points in our lives.  One quote I truly believe in is that “God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.”  I believe that these situations in life are not a gamble.  I believe that good things happen to you when good things need to happen and bad things happen to you only when you can handle them and when you have reached a point in your life when you need to grow and change.  People always say why me, it isn’t fair and that bad things only happen to good people.  Well sue me because I also said all of those things.  Truth is life isn’t fair, bad things happen to everyone it is just magnified when it happens to someone who is good, and why you, sadly there is no other answer to that question than because. 

So back to the question of why I am writing this “rule book.”  The answer is; I am here.  I am still on earth, a living, breathing, passionate young lady who has to find a way to still be.  I can’t die physically, mentally, and emotionally because my dad did.  I have to make the best of the situation and remember the life lessons my dad taught while I had the time.  While I don’t think it is easy to do so with only 21 years under my belt of “Big Phil” wisdom, I have to do my best to find ways to learn more.   So this book is going to do exactly that.  It is a learning tool and a way for me to continue my journey to get to know my dad.  My dad may be physically gone, however, I will search for the ways that I can still connect with him.  I want to understand his thoughts and beliefs and I want to hear the old stories that he would have told me through family and friends. 

As I said, I am a girl, a young, passionate, and loving person.  My name is Alexa Glazer and I am the daughter of who I think is the greatest man to ever walk this earth, my dad, Phil Glazer.  I feel as if I have reached a point in my life where I have dreams like I had when I was 6 years old.  Dreams to conquer the world, to make this world a better place, and to overall change people’s lives for the better.  The difference between having this dream at age 6 and at age 23 is that I can do it.  Call me naïve but I think I have the power to conquer.  I think in life we have the power to do anything and everything that we truly believe in.  Big dreams or small dreams are what make the world go round.  Dreams evolve, stimulate and inspire all walks of life, all ages, and all shapes and sizes.  Dreams don’t discriminate and in turn inspiration brings people together.  Whether I touch one person’s life or a million, I will treat that as success and will use that to fuel my fire.